Every woman has been a whore before. Huh!

A woman told me today that every woman has been a whore some time in her life. I was shocked, but I asked her to explain. She stated that every woman some time in her life has given her body and her emotions to at least one man or a few men who did not deserve her jewels or affections. She stated that every woman has at a time body and heart has been played with by a man who did not cherish them or see their value.

I can agree that many women have made the mistake of being involved sexually and emotionally with a man that did not know their worth, or truly care for them. Many of us have had negative experiences with men, when we were young, naive, or inexperienced. Some of us have been betrayed, lied to, etc. However, as I told this woman, I do not think making a mistake with a man one time or a few times makes you a whore. It makes the woman trusting, naive. It makes the woman, someone who made a mistake.

I think that a woman spreading your body around without care to who is receiving it, and what emotional, physical and mental wear doing so could do to you, makes a woman who does not have understanding of her worth and virtue. I do not believe that woman should call themselves whores. We are not whores.

We may make mistakes in who we give our bodies and love to. We may think that our worth is encapsulated in our sex, when it is not. We may be expressing our sexual freedom and appetites. However, the degradation used with words such as whore need to stop. We need to stop giving words power to control us, and shame us. We need to pinpoint the real issues in our lives and that we experience and solve them. Before we resort to bashing others and ourselves.

Most importantly we women, we black women need to initiate our worth, and that we deserve love and greatness from our spouses. The lesson of knowing your worth must not only be taught, but it should be learned and practiced. Once we know our worth and what we should tolerate and accept less mistakes will be made, and less tears will be shed. ~Know Your Worth~ -M. Millie

Learn to lead, for you.

In life it is always best to be a leader and not a follower.

It always amazes me how women who are lonely, jaded and bitter will try to make you the same way. It always surprises me how these women will try to persuade you to make choices that could cause hardship in your relationship. This happened to me tonight.

I was at a staff dinner. We were having drinks, Great food and awkward conversation. My co worker asked me if we are going to go to a club afterwards. I ignored her, because she talks so much you do not know if to take her serious or not. Anyway, when I realized her question about attending a club after the dinner was serious, I responded no. She said ” oh just text your hubby and tell him you will be home late.” I looked at her laughed and continued to ignore her the rest of the night.

You see, I am a leader, not a follower. I lead my way towards my decisions and choices. I follow, not the path or trail of others.

I am not going to follow you to a club and just call my hubby like everything is alright. First of all, I like to give my man the courtesy of knowing what I am doing when I go out before I leave him that night. I do not like just dropping last-minute things on him like that. My relationship like any other has its parameters and my hubby and I work within them to ensure we respect each other.

Next, I am not taking relationship advice from YOU honey. Yes, for this woman’s  true intention is not to go out and hang out, but to cause a rift in my life. Your intention is to cause me problems.

Family, at the end of the day it is best to be a leader and follow your path not others. Yes, you can listen to people,but make your decisions based solely on what is beneficial for you. Make choices that will positively impact your life.

Lastly, do not allow others to make you change who you are. Do not allow people to influence who your next step.You navigate your life, NO ONE else does. Ensure, you stay true to who you are. Be a leader and follow your heart, mind soul and own path. ~Know Your Worth~ -M. Millie

FATHERS, WHERE ARE YOU?

I can not express the importance of having father figures in black family households. Now we black women for years have been being both mom and dad. Doing the best that we could to raise our daughters and sons when their fathers would not. However, it needs to STOP! Black men have to take responsibility for their children and help raise them. Fathers need to help teach their sons how to be men and their daughters that they can succeed in doing anything and how they should be treated by men.

Now, Black Women we have done well raising our children, but we need to allow their fathers to help raise them if they are willing too. I know far too many black men who are positive and hardworking, but are not being allowed by their children’s mothers to raise their children. Child support does not equal raising a child. We have to allow our children’s father to do more than that. Now sistahs I say this not to disrespect anyone, but to tell you that we have to let go of our issues with our ex’s and allow their fathers if they are willing and have good intentions to be fathers. Brothas, I ask you to step up and be fathers because our communities need it.

Too long, have black women solely raised black children. It is unfair and is not allowing our children to grow with full awareness of themselves and their backgrounds when they are raised without one parent. I was raised mostly, by my mom. My father was neglectful at times, but he did help raise me. I feel like I grew up with a sense of understanding about myself that I might not have gotten by only being raised by my mother. We were a family unit and despite my father’s absence and the dysfunction, my mom allowed him to raise me the best way he could.

Brothas it is time to wake up. Stop the abandonment of your children and raise them. Sistahs, it is also time to allow black men to be fathers. Thank you to all the Sistahs who have raised their black children by themselves and struggled to do so. Thank You to all the black men, who have been fathers and helped raise their children. We need to work together, black mothers and fathers to help raise a future generation of proud black little girls and boys. Lets raise our future leaders of tomorrow together.

Happy Fathers Day to all the real fathers. Black women lets not take this day away from black men. Let’s honor all of the black men who are fathers. Who do not just provide financial support, but positively impact the lives of our children. Thank you black fathers. Please continue to be the best fathers you can be. -M. Millie