A woman told me today that every woman has been a whore some time in her life. I was shocked, but I asked her to explain. She stated that every woman some time in her life has given her body and her emotions to at least one man or a few men who did not deserve her jewels or affections. She stated that every woman has at a time body and heart has been played with by a man who did not cherish them or see their value.
I can agree that many women have made the mistake of being involved sexually and emotionally with a man that did not know their worth, or truly care for them. Many of us have had negative experiences with men, when we were young, naive, or inexperienced. Some of us have been betrayed, lied to, etc. However, as I told this woman, I do not think making a mistake with a man one time or a few times makes you a whore. It makes the woman trusting, naive. It makes the woman, someone who made a mistake.
I think that a woman spreading your body around without care to who is receiving it, and what emotional, physical and mental wear doing so could do to you, makes a woman who does not have understanding of her worth and virtue. I do not believe that woman should call themselves whores. We are not whores.
We may make mistakes in who we give our bodies and love to. We may think that our worth is encapsulated in our sex, when it is not. We may be expressing our sexual freedom and appetites. However, the degradation used with words such as whore need to stop. We need to stop giving words power to control us, and shame us. We need to pinpoint the real issues in our lives and that we experience and solve them. Before we resort to bashing others and ourselves.
Most importantly we women, we black women need to initiate our worth, and that we deserve love and greatness from our spouses. The lesson of knowing your worth must not only be taught, but it should be learned and practiced. Once we know our worth and what we should tolerate and accept less mistakes will be made, and less tears will be shed. ~Know Your Worth~ -M. Millie
I was never going to see the Butler movie by Lee Daniels. I get tired of seeing us depicted in movies as stereotypical characters who are wholesome and good, but help white people discover themselves and become better, while we serve them in servitude. However, I am very appalled to the recent words of the film’s director Lee Daniels.
In an interview with Larry King, Daniels was expressing his experience growing up as an African-American gay man. The conversation went South. View his interview here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rrr7izsQa-Q
He then started describing how he walked into a gay mens’ health crisis center in New York City. He states “I expected to see a room full of gay men, but there are nothing but women that are there – black women with kids, I thought I had walked into the welfare office, but they service black women with AIDS, why?”
“Because black men can’t come out. Why? Because you simply can’t do it. Your family says it, your church says it, your teachers say it, your parents say it, your friends say it, your work says it. And so you’re living on this DL thing and you’re infecting black women.”
Although I understand Daniels’ sentiment with black men infecting black women with HIV/AIDS, why compare black women in a clinic, treating themselves and their children to black women being in a welfare office. There is no comparison.
One thing that pisses me off with welfare is that it is believed that we African-Americans, especially black women, are on welfare. Yes, I know statistics will tell you one thing. But, what are statistics? Statistics are numbers generated by people in power to gear the greater population into believing stereotypes, ideas, and garner certain beliefs about different groups of people, medicine, trends etc. That is the real definition of statistics. I mean who are participating in these surveys and tests? Have you ever been called up? Think about it.
Also, the people who use up welfare the most are Latinos, Jews and Europeans. Yes, I said it. It is so much easier for these groups of people to get welfare than it is for us. Jews get their welfare and other aids in the synagogue. Who else has this privilege. Not African Americans! Latinos and Europeans come here aided by their people in offices, and higher positions who pull down the curtains of difficulty and make it easier for them to get welfare. I do not say this to be bitter. These groups of people are organized and unify to help each other gain resources and opportunities. That is a beautiful thing. That is something that is definitely lacking in the black community. However, I say this because the hype should not be believed that we African Americans, specifically black women possess more welfare than anyone else. I know black women who have had five kids, and no job, but due to the difficulty of obtaining welfare have not been able to gain it. Thankfully she is working now. Family, statistics are not all true. They are made up to control your thinking and beliefs. V for Vendetta anyone. That was a great movie. If you have not seen it, see it. It discusses how a lot of corruption and beliefs are created.
Back to it…
I am tired of black men stomping on black. Yes, Daniels made a point about how homosexuality is different in African-American culture. He also sheds light on the struggle, homosexual black men experience. However, why try to highlight your struggle as a minority-oppressed person by bringing down another group of minority oppressed people, black women? It makes no sense and diffuses the positivity he was trying to highlight in his interview. We black women have NOTHING! Let me repeat NOTHING to do with a black mans struggle growing up gay.
We black women are not a stomping ground. We should not be used so easily as a punching bag to make a point, no matter how positive the point may be. I will not, and do not support anyone black or otherwise that seeks to benefit from the degradation of black women. None of us should. Lee Daniels is another African-American man, who unfortunately instead of trying to uplift ALL of his people, steps on those who have supported on him. We black women need to demand more, and hit them where it hurts. Deny them from flourishing with our economic power. Support those who support you and this man does not support us. –M. Millie
Have you all been following the Oprah story? She was in Switzerland for the wedding of Tina Turner. She was in a store and was checking out a bag. A sales representative then came up to her and said “You cannot afford that bag.” I guess Oprah realized yes, you may be a famous, powerful black women in America. However, outside of this country everyone will view as black women. That means that you will be treated with the same disrespect and discrimination the color of our skin brings.
Tina Turner wed to Erwin Bach in Switzerland.
I cannot stand when people say that Europe is not racist. Yes, they are. Who colonized people in Africa and brought slaves to America? Europeans did. Who first robbed Africa of its natural resources? It was Europe first. Now, America and Asia have joined in on the raping of the African continent. Where do white people in America come from, Europe. White supremacy and racism is a global epidemic. Everywhere in this world black people are discriminated against.
This is not a message of hate or resentment. No this is a message of truth. This is a message of reality. We need to take of the fog filled glasses and look clearly at our situation. Europe created the systematic racism America followed during slavery. They are not exempt from racism and oppression. They created it. American whites adopted the model and tweaked it where, necessary.
I know that Oprah got a reality check. No matter how rich, powerful, or influential she may be, she is still black and that will still contribute to her mistreatment.
Yes, it is a somber reality, but we have to remember that until we demand, rally, gain economic power, unify and build we will not get more and there will be little progress. We have to realize our power, intelligence and worth and truly rally towards change. –M. Millie
Family, what are your thoughts on Oprah Winfrey‘s discrimination claims?
Black Women Who Know Their Worth 