Learn to lead, for you.

In life it is always best to be a leader and not a follower.

It always amazes me how women who are lonely, jaded and bitter will try to make you the same way. It always surprises me how these women will try to persuade you to make choices that could cause hardship in your relationship. This happened to me tonight.

I was at a staff dinner. We were having drinks, Great food and awkward conversation. My co worker asked me if we are going to go to a club afterwards. I ignored her, because she talks so much you do not know if to take her serious or not. Anyway, when I realized her question about attending a club after the dinner was serious, I responded no. She said ” oh just text your hubby and tell him you will be home late.” I looked at her laughed and continued to ignore her the rest of the night.

You see, I am a leader, not a follower. I lead my way towards my decisions and choices. I follow, not the path or trail of others.

I am not going to follow you to a club and just call my hubby like everything is alright. First of all, I like to give my man the courtesy of knowing what I am doing when I go out before I leave him that night. I do not like just dropping last-minute things on him like that. My relationship like any other has its parameters and my hubby and I work within them to ensure we respect each other.

Next, I am not taking relationship advice from YOU honey. Yes, for this woman’s  true intention is not to go out and hang out, but to cause a rift in my life. Your intention is to cause me problems.

Family, at the end of the day it is best to be a leader and follow your path not others. Yes, you can listen to people,but make your decisions based solely on what is beneficial for you. Make choices that will positively impact your life.

Lastly, do not allow others to make you change who you are. Do not allow people to influence who your next step.You navigate your life, NO ONE else does. Ensure, you stay true to who you are. Be a leader and follow your heart, mind soul and own path. ~Know Your Worth~ -M. Millie

FATHERS, WHERE ARE YOU?

I can not express the importance of having father figures in black family households. Now we black women for years have been being both mom and dad. Doing the best that we could to raise our daughters and sons when their fathers would not. However, it needs to STOP! Black men have to take responsibility for their children and help raise them. Fathers need to help teach their sons how to be men and their daughters that they can succeed in doing anything and how they should be treated by men.

Now, Black Women we have done well raising our children, but we need to allow their fathers to help raise them if they are willing too. I know far too many black men who are positive and hardworking, but are not being allowed by their children’s mothers to raise their children. Child support does not equal raising a child. We have to allow our children’s father to do more than that. Now sistahs I say this not to disrespect anyone, but to tell you that we have to let go of our issues with our ex’s and allow their fathers if they are willing and have good intentions to be fathers. Brothas, I ask you to step up and be fathers because our communities need it.

Too long, have black women solely raised black children. It is unfair and is not allowing our children to grow with full awareness of themselves and their backgrounds when they are raised without one parent. I was raised mostly, by my mom. My father was neglectful at times, but he did help raise me. I feel like I grew up with a sense of understanding about myself that I might not have gotten by only being raised by my mother. We were a family unit and despite my father’s absence and the dysfunction, my mom allowed him to raise me the best way he could.

Brothas it is time to wake up. Stop the abandonment of your children and raise them. Sistahs, it is also time to allow black men to be fathers. Thank you to all the Sistahs who have raised their black children by themselves and struggled to do so. Thank You to all the black men, who have been fathers and helped raise their children. We need to work together, black mothers and fathers to help raise a future generation of proud black little girls and boys. Lets raise our future leaders of tomorrow together.

Happy Fathers Day to all the real fathers. Black women lets not take this day away from black men. Let’s honor all of the black men who are fathers. Who do not just provide financial support, but positively impact the lives of our children. Thank you black fathers. Please continue to be the best fathers you can be. -M. Millie

 

She had a Baby, Congratulations! Why do you care again?

So she had a baby I do not care, why do you?

Yes, Kim Kardashian had a baby today. Congratulations to her. Having a baby is a beautiful and special gift. Social media is buzzing about this news and I understand why. She is a celebrity. She is famous, for whatever reason. However, why do we African Americans care?

The question here lies, why are black outlets,. facebook pages, and media reporting her child’s birth. Yes, I remember that she is having a baby with Kayne West. However, the focus the black community has one this non black woman is overwhelming.

Why is her life and story news for us? Why do we care? There is a black woman named Marissa Alexander who is spending 20 years in prison for a non violent offense. Why aren’t we rallying and talking about her?

The constant portrayal and discussion of  Kim Kardashian in a positive, enviable way are a continued trend of black America glorifying this white woman and other white women like her.

Beyonce had a child as a married woman. However, she was ridiculed during her pregnancy and after. There were rumors of her having a fake birth. There were rumors that she did not have the baby. There have even been rumors saying the baby is ugly. Who calls a baby ugly? SMH! That child is gorgeous.

Many of these rumors were fabricated and spread by our own community. We did not welcome Beyonce’s pregnancy or give her positive attention the way we have Kim Kardashian. Why? That is because no matter how much we love Beyonce she is not a white woman like Kim Kardashian, and many of us blacks have the indoctrinated belief and practice of worshipping non black women.

Now before, I get called a hater. I am not HATING on her. I believe that it is a talent to become rich and famous for having no talent. She is talented for she is another white woman who has played the fem fatale, oh woe is me, card to get a fan base. Yes, her privilege of whiteness has helped her of course. The blindness and promote of White America, has also helped her as well. However, she has “hob knobbed”, made connections and used publicity as a way to be one of the most popular people, today.

What bothers me is the worship. The worship of the black community of people like Kim Kardashian. She is not a black woman. She is not even someone who cares about the black struggle, besides the obvious, her spouse choices.

There are so many black woman who accomplish great feats and do so much everyday, who do not get recognized. If these women do get recognized, their stories do not get shared with the same ferocity as Kim K’s life and story. Fame is just one part of it but worship is the bigger part of it. Our admiration for Kim K overextended our pride for our people.

We black people have always focused on people outside of our community more than those inside of it. Yes, it’s that Willie Lynch, slave mentality, self-hatred combo that seems to always stifle our development.

Our worth, our being and who we are CANNOT, be mirrored against a mirror of unattainable, and undeniable self hatred. Many black women want to be this woman. They want her body. Umm, we have had Real, hips, lips, but and hair since the beginning of time. Next! We need to learn to love and appreciate who we are and those like us who have risen against all.

We need to see role models in our communities, who look like us, who come from our struggle and know what we are and are capable of as people to admire. These people do not have to necessarily be famous, There are black woman everyday, locally, who are teachers, police officers, politicians, lawyers, etc. who cultivate the contemporary accomplishments of black woman.

Lets appreciate these women. Lets remember these women, and stop the worshiping of who are not US. Lets  be proud of ourselves and proud of our people. ~Know Your Worth~ -M. Millie