Your hair, but everyone else cares. WHY?

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I recoiled as I sat on the train today and watched the dialogue between two white women and a black man. The group was discussing hair. White woman 1 remarked that she thinks spiky gelled hair is cool. White woman 2 said yeah spiky gelled hair with color. White woman 1 expressed that their black male friend could achieve this hair style. She then started to pet his hair as if he was an animal. She then said yeah your a chia pet. As in the animal plant chia pets that grow when you water them. WHAT! You are calling the texture of this black mans hair a chia pet. She then said I want you to be my chia pet. No, I will just buy one. I wanted one in college. Your lame attempts to buffer your statement will not work. You are disrespecting this man and his hair, that can achieve styles your bone straight hair could never achieve. You see family, this woman was actually jealous of this mans hair. She knew that her hair texture would never allow her to achieve spiky gelled hair the way she would want. She knows that her black male companions hair can. Instead of complementing him on the versatility of his hair, she calls his hair a chia pet. She degraded him, without the man even realizing it. She then says that he is her chia pet. So, this man is your animal. Her words speak to the psyches of white women. The privilege they feel their skin grants them.

This made me think about how black women are demeaned because of our natural hair, or our choices to utilize various styles with our hair. I am a big believer that we black women have divine beautiful hair. Our hair can be manipulated and done in various styles.

black women diverseWe can wear our hair natural  straightened, coiled, curly, colored, shaved. short, long, wavy, permed, texturized, etc. However, when we strive to reject the Western and American standards of beauty we get criticized. Take Solange Knowles for example. This black woman has boldly defied  what society dictates as beautiful and embraced her natural hair. She has been criticized by naturals about the way her natural hair looked. Read story here http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2158324/Solange-Knowles-proudly-defends-afro-critics-natural-hair-unkempt-dry-heck.html

Solange was also criticized by a white female twitter  about her hair. She stated that Solange would look better with a relaxer. Solange shut her down of course, but why all the criticism? solangeIt should not be deemed a problem if we black women want to embrace our natural hair. It should not be a problem if we want to straighten it, curl it etc. I salute any woman who wears her hair proudly and focuses more on who she is than the hair on her head. Yes, there are positives and negatives regarding whatever hairstyle, and hair choice a black woman may choose. However, it is her choice. We need to stop judging each other and grow up. Hair is hair. It sheds, it grows, it falls out. The person that you are is more important.

Also, never let anyone, not a another black woman, man, white man, white woman, etc. degrade you because of your hair choice.Your hair choice is yours. Do what makes you happy. Oh, and love yourself and your hair.

i love my hair

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4 thoughts on “Your hair, but everyone else cares. WHY?

  1. 3 years ago I made the decision to loc my hair you would have thought I was commiting a serious crime the way some people reacted to my plan. Once I got them the comments have shifted from negative to postive once I made it know that my hair is only 1% of me and the 99% is what you really need to watch out for .

    • Yes sis. I agree. We need to stop judging others on our personal choices. Especially when it comes to pur hair. Who we are as people is so much more important. I also, believe that when we as people go against the norm and defy society we become targets. However, when we are comfortable in our own skin, when we bodly walk down the street with confidence and our self esteem is in check, people can not argue or flyness and their words mean nothing.

  2. I can relate to pure ignorance such as this… And I have feelings towards like this sometimes I get mad at times I can brush it off and laugh and smh… But this will never stop… It always goes back to race or something of that nature… Its all about how we approach each situation, by how we react and what words we choose to use to solve the issues at hand…

    • Exactly sis. We have to deal with the ignorance, because it will never end. It is best for us to not let people upset us because of our hair choices. Yes, we can still put them in check, but we should not let peoples comments break our confidence. –

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